Robertpaul Photography
Mrs Barrett
Posted by Paul Wright (Wiltshire, United Kingdom) on 18 March 2008 in People & Portrait and Portfolio.
I apologize for the length of this description in advance. Someone once said that there are only two inevitables in life, "Paying Taxes and Death". I assume that this was a stab at making what is essentially a reality of life more palatable. My Father William is a good man. He lost the companionship and love of my Mother some five years ago now. Has he ever got over the loss? I don't believe so. Dad has never been the best at facing up to the inevitable. The suddenness of his wife's passing brought the stark facts of life into sharp focus. A fear my Father had barely kept in check for many years now came to the fore. My Father's chronic fear of being old, getting older and death has manifested itself in debilitating anxiety attacks (Google it for description). He is a healthy man in body, but in mind especially. Unfortunately, this phobia (and it is a phobia) has dragging him down and is at times very painful to watch, especially when advice sought, then offered is ignored! What is the phobia of Getting Old? Defined as "a persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of growing old or old people", each year, this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress. It is often borne out of loneliness. Known by a number of names Gerascophobia, Gerontophobia, Fear of Old People, and Fear of Growing Old being the most common, the problem often significantly impacts the quality of life. It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones. Symptoms typically include shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread. We have all experienced phobias at some time in our lives, but normally they do not impact on our lives! The danger lies in phobias turning to obsessions..............I hope that this is not the case with my Father, but I fear otherwise! I have illustrated the word 'old' with a shot I took a couple of years ago. Mrs Barrett is a neighbour of mine, but more often than not the only time I will see her is in the local bar at the foot of our road. It dawned on me the other night that in 8 years I had not really got to know her. Was she local, who were her family...............? My Father's condition made me think long and hard about loneliness and how this one simple feeling can develop into an all consuming phobic condition. It made me realise I had to get to know this woman if only to be able to say hello with the knowledge that we were saying hello as friends. It turned out that her husband often worked long hours meaning him being absent from home through the night. Hence her frequent nightly jaunts to her local pub................keeping loneliness at bay by surrounding herself more often than not by strangers. I am glad to say that I now feel I know Mrs Barrett that little bit better and I and a few friends joined her for a drink and a chat which we all enjoyed immensely. Being lonely can affect us all at any age, but the elderly can often be left behind! Take time to say hi or exchange a thought......................it can make a huge difference not only to the recipient but the giver also. I intend to take this further and explore loneliness in all its forms.
Who is your neighbour?
Foot note: Both my Father (Oct 2006) and Mrs Barrett (2007) have passed away since I first wrote the piece above. RIP.
